A Bright, Shiny New Year

As I was working on my annual plan for 2017, my daughter asked me why I spend so much thinking time on planning my commitments and aspirations (others call them resolutions) every year.  I told her if you don't set priorities, how do you know you're spending your time on the right things?

I love the feeling of a whole Bright Shiny New Year stretching out before me filled with possibilities and opportunities.  I love the luxurious feel of thinking about how best to use that wide expanse of time.  New Year's is my favorite holiday, in fact.  Not for the party scene but for the pleasure of this process.  I tend to start the process by setting a theme.  An overarching idea that encompasses and unifies the individual goals and aspirations.  

Last year the theme was "More" as I committed to finding ways to say "yes" to more things and enlarging my span of impact and influence.  This year the theme is "Integration."  By Integration I mean having seamless transitions and flow between all aspects of my life - removing all barriers that consume time and energy with no value.  

Once the theme is in place, I begin thinking about the individual Commitments, the things I am committed to accomplishing or doing and Aspirations, the results I will achieve through my Commitments.  I believe the reason Resolutions have a bad rap and a high failure rate, is because most people focus on the outcome first - I want to lose 10 pounds or save $10,000 or improve a relationship without thinking through the actual changes they will need to make to achieve them.  The first focus should be on the inputs - the things you are actually Committed to getting done.  Going to the gym 3x per week or cutting out the weekly Amazon purchases or spending 30 minutes every day with your spouse after dinner to reconnect.  The Commitments are what you are going to do.  The Aspirations are the whys.  

I think the other reason for the high failure rate is that most people make a big list without first having an Accountability system in place.  How do you know you are keeping on track if you aren't monitoring your progress?  People don't track out of the gate, get too far behind and give up before January is over.  Having your Accountability process ironed out starts before you even set your first Commitment.  I have found that this annual process has actually strengthened my ability to hold myself accountable in all areas of my life.  Discipline is like a muscle, you have to work it to make it strong.  Start small if you need to with a small number of Commitments.  You can add more once you have improved your ability to be disciplined in what you are setting out to do. Large Commitments should be broken up into daily or weekly goals.  If you can't break a goal up into smaller bite sizes to track, the likelihood of falling off plan is high.  

There are a lot of tools and techniques to use that can help with transparency and accountability.  These apps are great for transparency - the key to accountability. I have tried many.  The one I have settled on is Strides.  It is a great app - flexible enough to track all sorts of Commitments - time-based, numerical, etc. It is also easy to use with a beautiful UI.  I have it on the home page of my phone and iPad.  I start every morning by marking my performance against my Commitments.  

And 2017, this Bright, Shiny New Year is off to a great start.

Maybe too Much Empathy Isn't a Good Thing

Google "empathy" and "leadership" and here are just some of the first page links you will find.

"Why The Empathic Leader is the Best Leader"  Success
http://www.success.com/article/why-the-empathetic-leader-is-the-best-leader

"Empathy: A Critical Skills for Effective Leadership" Bounce Back Higher
http://bouncebackhigher.com/articles/empathy-a-critical-skill-for-effective-leadership/

"Why We Need More Compassionate and Empathetic Leaders" Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201608/why-we-need-more-empathetic-and-compassionate-leaders

"Why the Empathetic Leader is the Best Leader"  Lolly Daskal, Lead from Within
http://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/whats-empathy-got-leadership/

"Empathy in Leadership: 10 Reasons Why it Matters" Tanveer Naseer

http://www.tanveernaseer.com/why-empathy-matters-in-leadership/

"Empathy is the Hottest Trend in Leadership" Time-Money

http://time.com/money/4376423/empathy-leadership-trend/

 The concept of empathy had been put forth as the answer to crime, violence of all sorts, political conflicts and all manner of ill.  Obama perhaps started the trend with his 2007 presidential campaign where he highlighted the "empathy deficit" as the most pressing problem facing America.  Some even attributed his re-election in 2012 to empathy, stating that  he one specifically because he and the Democratic Party were more successful at expressing empathy than Mitt Romney and the Republicans. (Barack Obama quotes about empathy - http://www.azquotes.com/author/11023-Barack_Obama/tag/empathy).

Whenever a concept or idea reaches such levels of hyperbole in the popular media - just look at the language in those titles to see it - Hottest trend, Best, Critical - I generally begin to ask "what if the opposite is true."  In our culture, it is usually just a moment in time until such powerful "no brainer" trends are met with opposing arguments and forceful backlash.  And so it was with the empathy movement.  One of the first salvos I read "Against Empathy, The Argument for Rationale Compassion" by Paul Bloom.  (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CY2LCZI/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) is a witty "plane ride" read and is provocative with some powerful ideas sparking contemplation.

Bloom's thesis is that empathy is biased, innumerate, parochial and irrational. It leads us astray and foils our efforts to make rational moral decisions.  In fact he makes the case that some of the most important decisions made by individuals and nations—who to give money to, when to go to war, how to respond to climate change, and who to imprison—are too often motivated by honest, yet misplaced, emotions. With precision and wit, he demonstrates how empathy can distort our judgment in every aspect of our lives, from philanthropy and charity to the justice system; from medical care and education to parenting and marriage.  

Bloom argues that compassion instead of empathy (turns out there is a difference) leads to a much better decision making process.  Bloom defines emotional empathy—feeling another’s pain. vs. non-empathetic compassion which is a more distanced love and kindness and concern for others. Bloom is a big fan of compassion if not so much empathy. He makes the point that kindness and altruism are proven to be associated with all sorts of positive physical and psychological outcomes, including a boost in both short-term mood and long-term happiness. If you want to get happy, Bloom argues that helping others is an excellent way to do so.  Empathy, on the other hand, can be draining and lead to burn out and exhaustion.

But larger than the impact on the individual, Bloom argues that it makes the world overall a worse place.  Empathy in the moment blinds us the long-term consequences of our actions.  So where empathy is an emotional and knee-jerk response to a situation close at hand, compassion can be logically reasoned - taking into account future generations, cold calculation and cost:benefit analyses.

In his book, Bloom looks at this empathy vs. compassion comparison from the perspective of public policy, charitable giving and personal relationships.  He did not apply his logic to the professional environment or to leadership situations.  I would argue that it is just as applicable to think about the difference between "rationale compassion" vs. "empathy" as we lead our teams at work.  Bloom claims that "empathy distorts our moral judgments in much the same way the prejudice does," both are emotional reactions and both lead to sub-optimal decisions.  It is easy to see how leaders passionate about their teams, their companies and their colleagues could get caught up in an emotional response to a peer's failures or personal struggles or a customer's frustration.  Bloom argues that it would be better to apply the cool logic of reason in the service of dispassionate but real compassion - weighing the odds, running the numbers, assessing the ramifications, aiming for a greater good - rather than the heat of an emotional empathy seeking to provide relief in the near-term to ourselves and our colleagues with short-term solutions.

Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Paul Bloom, 
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CY2LCZI/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Harper Collins

Learnings from a Patagonia Trek

 

There is no debate about climate change among those living closest to the glaciers. They see the affects everyday on a dominant part of their landscape - Gray Glacier, Glacier Petito Moreno, Viedma are all receding.  The local people see it happening my day by day and are afraid. The glaciers are a part of their lives, an important source of income, a driver of the weather and a definite point of pride. When we were hiking and climbing on Gray, the guides spoke almost lovingly of the glacier and its place in their day-to-day lives. They asked if their glaciers were noticed or known or cared about in America. Did we understand what is happening here?  Unfortunately, the honest answer was, for the most part, No. We talk about by the glaciers and their relentless shrinking in the abstract without much passion. The glaciers up close are anything but abstract. The glaciers are majestic, awe inspiring, dangerous and beautiful. They are a critical part of our ecosystem.  To be up on one is to be in another world. The quiet is complete, the colors intense.  One feels that one is in the presence of a raw, untamed part of our world. And that our fates are inextricably linked. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to experience them while they are still glorious. 

Conditions on the ground can change on a moment's notice. At the outset of the trip, we began each day by asking our guides about the weather. They would just smile and shake their heads. Didn't we understand, there was no predicting the weather? Changeable weather is a cliche for many areas. In Patagonia, it is flat out true. What starts out as sunny will soon be sleeting and then back again.  Temps can swing 20 degrees in the span of 20 minutes.  Gale-force winds can come out of nowhere at any time and swirl in any direction taking your breath away and knocking you off your stride (a potentially dangerous scenario on the narrow cliffs of Torre Del Paine).  Then just as quickly subside - or last for days.  If you aren't prepared for any contingency, you are potentially  at grave risk. By the end of the trip, we found ourselves scanning the skies frequently and on high alert for any shift of wind. Not a bad approach generally in today's complex world. 

One of the basic things that unite all of us is a willingness to pursue even a perilous search for beauty in all its forms. On the trails, I met people from every region and all walks of life. Class, race, gender, ethnicity all melted away in our shared quests for  base of the Three Towers or the look out on Mount Fitz Roy. We were exhausted, cold, some pushed beyond physical limits. We shared challenges and set backs and triumphs. 

Until we truly push beyond our limits, we can never know the boundaries of our strength. Most of us stay within narrow limits.  It is safe there. The risks are low and the outcomes predictable. We do not go to our limits because it is hard. Uncomfortable. Messy. Unpredictable.  And we may not like what we see. But, in my experience, when people truly push until they almost break, they are surprised, even shocked,  by what they can endure.  Seeing how far, how fast, how much, how many - only serves to build confidence in our strength and abilities. It is liberating.  The human spirit is truly indomitable. Our physical strength becomes a source of power, of pleasure as the world opens up and we begin to trust our ability to master any challenge. 

Traveling the world is best experienced fully curious and open-hearted. It is important to be generous with your interest and appreciation and sparing with your judgment and criticism. You can learn something from everywhere you go and everyone you meet. Actively seeking out different perspectives makes it easier to question your everyday assumptions. 

You cannot fully experience and understand the world from behind glass. While I appreciate the need to provide transportation to the world's beautiful sights as a way of ensuring access to those with truly no other possibility to reach them; in certain parts of Patagonia (thankfully not Torre Del Paine or the Parque De Los Glaciares where there is simply no way to access the sites but by sheer effort and sweat and blood), I saw many climate-controlled tour buses and ferries filled with tourists being transported to a glacier or look out point.  And no doubt many of them could be out in the open air struggling with the terrain and weather with the rest of us but for a little training and work. This would significantly cut down on the number of tourist buses littering the landscape, exhaust fumes hitting the glaciers as well as ensure a more authentic experience for the people behind the glass. 

How "Mindset" Can Drive a Company Culture

Just finished reading "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck.  The implications of this research and perspective are broadly applicable - as individual contributors, as parents, as partners and as leaders.  The essential idea of the book is that a growth mindset is one that is open to challenges, to learning, to struggling to attain skills - it is the belief that there is no fixed state of being that growth and improvement can always be achieved with focused effort.  That is compared to a "fixed" mindset which believes that talent and capability are essentially immutable.  You are either a natural athlete or inherently smart or a gifted artist or you just aren't and no amount of work and effort can change that.  In fact, if you have to work at something; it means you will never be good at it.

"People may start with different temperaments and different aptitudes, but it is clear that experience, training, and personal effort take them the rest of the way. Robert Sternberg, the present-day guru of intelligence, writes that the major factor in whether people achieve expertise “is not some fixed prior ability, but purposeful engagement.” Or ..... it’s not always the people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest."

Or more simply stated, it isn't necessarily the people with the most "natural" talent who succeed but the people with the courage to take on big goals that may in fact lead to failure, people open to learning and people with perseverance and grit to do the hard work necessary to succeed. Not the show horses who grow frustrated at obstacles that are not supposed to be in their way but the work horses who see those obstacles as opportunities to prove themselves and learn.


Being told you are a "natural talent" and the "smartest in the room" may in fact lead one to avoid the stretch assignment or the risky goal because you become afraid of losing that aura of invincibility - that sense of being able to achieve effortlessly.  Being told that success is assured because everything "comes easy to them" may lead to a crumbling at the first inevitable struggle - a loss of identity.  

These concepts are as relevant for business leaders who want to cultivate talent as for parents who want to raise their kids to thrive on challenge and develop the resilience to succeed in the face of setbacks.

With a "fixed mindset," you believe that you have a fixed ability that needs to be proven again and again.  You either have it or you don't - and you need to keep proving that you have it by making it seem easy, by not appearing to struggle, by not ever failing.  So you don't take on things you aren't very sure that you can do.  Alternatively, people with a growth mindset do not lable themselves as immutable winners or losers and don't throw up their hands at the first sign of struggle believing that if it isn't easy, it is beyond their natural talents.  They believe that they can develop, can learn and although they feel distressed at failure; they are ready to take the risks, confront the challenges, and keep working at them.

The willingness (even passion) for stretching yourself and sticking to it, "even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset." The growth mindset is one that enables people to thrive during the most challenging times in their lives.

This concept - fixed versus growth mindset - has many implications for the leader of an organization. Firstly, do you hire only the "natural athletes" the ones who have glided through their career seemingly never faltering or do you hire those who have obviously had to struggle at times, had to presevere through challenges both personal and professional?   Do you hire the sort who wears his/her ego on their sleeve - one whose self worth is contingent on never breaking a sweat and always proving that they are the smartest in the room?  Or do you hire the person who knows that they will have to work hard at times to overcome obstacles, that their lot is to struggle and strive through challenges and persevere through setbacks?  Who see failure as not a challenge to their core being but as a call to action to double down on their efforts?

And then there is the question of how you deal with a failure of those in the organization.  Do you reward or punish those who take on risks and sometimes fail? Are people willing to take on the stretch assignments or do they play it safe by staying well within their base talents - padding timelines and budgets to ensure they don't mar their perfect record as a winner?  

And as a mentor and a coach - do you believe that people can grow and learn and improve through challenges and struggle or do you believe that people either have "it" or not.   Are you willing to give people stretch assignments that are likely to lead to stress and struggle?  Or only give people assignments and roles once they are "ready."

If people can have a fixed or a growth mindset, so can organizations.  Building an organization that celebrates grit and growth through hard work and effort may lead to more sustainable success through the inevitable ups and downs of a company's life cycle. An organization that accepts the occassional failure in the reach for the exceptional is more likely to achieve that quantum leap in performance or great innovation over time than the one who continually plays it safe - setting realistic timelines and projections.  And a company that encourages people to take on assignments and tasks that seem initially beyond them but that will lead to true growth and deepening of skills even in the face of painful uncertainty, will be a far more interesting place to be.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

The Most Important Question

I have learned that the most important questions are generally the simplest.  And when someone really knows their stuff, the answers are crisp and short.

When meeting team members for the first time, I always ask the same, simple question.  "What is your job."  Invariably, I get a quizzical look as if the person were thinking - "C'mon you're the CEO, you must know what my job is.  Is this a trick question?"  But it isn't a trick question - I certainly know the person's title and role description but I genuinely want to hear every individual describe her/his job - as they see it, as they think about it, as they experience it.  I repeat the question again and will finally start to get halting answers.  And the conversation always proceeds the same way.

Invariably the person will start by describing the way they spend their time, the tasks that they do every day, the "deliverables" that consume their time.  I will let them go through their laundry list of items - sometimes people get really warmed up as if they think that this is now their opportunity to show off just how hard they are working - a long list of tasks translates into a very productive person, right?  Wrong.  

After they are done with the list and sit back with a breath, I ask again, "Ok, those are the tasks you do, but tell me what your JOB is."   Now they are really confused and sometimes a bit frustrated.  They are thinking..."Didn't I just tell you?  Could the CEO really be this daft."  I generally let the discomfort sit for a minute or two.  Then I explain.  Those are the tasks you must complete or work you must do to to achieve the Outcome to be produced.  It is producing that ultimate outcome - not the tasks - that define one's job.  No company pays for tasks - they pay for the successful delivery of an important outcome - something worth spending company resources on.  Then comes the "aha" moment.  You can see it in their eyes.  They finally "get" what I am asking and always describe with pride the true output of all their efforts.

This is a very powerful shift.

When people describe their jobs on what they are meant to accomplish for the organization rather than the minute tasks they do, there is a sense of importance, a sense of purpose that suddenly animates the conversation.  This shift is the same for people at every level of the Company.  Outcome based role definitions can be crafted for every job in a Company.  If not, if there isn't any outcome from that position that the Company is willing to pay for, you need to ask why that job exists.

Following this shift, people see their work in a whole new light.  And are proud of what they accomplish.  And it opens up a whole new degree of freedom and accountability.  It goes from....


"I create mechanical drawings on Solidworks." To "I design products that our customers want and need."

From "I write code." To "I develop software to help our customers work more efficiently."

From "I write reports." To "I make sure our customers have the data they need to make good decisions and be successful."

From "I run training sessions." To "I ensure customer success and help make our customers better at what they do."

From "I generate financial reports." To "I help our team understand the key metrics and drivers in our business to make sure we are successful long-term."

It is hard for a person to be turned on and excited by a laundry list of tasks but over time that is exactly what job descriptions and role definitions have become.  Everyone's work should be defined and evaluated by what they produce, the positive outcome they deliver that the Company actually wants to pay for and the person is excited to do.   See, told you it was simple.

A Thin Black Line

A thin black line. That may be the only tool you need to have to know if you are likely to be successful as a leader, as a spouse, as a colleague. No quadrants or complex organizational theory - just a thin black line.  Being "above the line" means being open, curious and committed to learning while being "below the line" means being closed, defensive and committed to being right - to spend your time not truly listening to others or being open to their ideas but to filtering what you hear and see looking for "proof" that you know the answer and are truly the smartest person in the room.

I was first introduced to the concept of the thin black line by a very insightful and forward thinking leadership coach acting as an outside resource for my YPO Chapter (Young President's Organization).  Diana Chapman and her partners at the Conscious Leadership group (http://conscious.is) have developed this simple idea into a powerful leadership concept - maybe the most powerful of all putting true self-awareness and the willingness to tell themselves the truth as the first mark of a person likely to be able to effectively lead people and be fully present at home, at work, with themselves.  These ideas are fully explored in a recent book, "The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success" by the principles of the the CL group - Jim Detmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Kemp.

But wait a minute - what is wrong with being right?  Isn't that what people hire a CEO to do - to be right?  As described in the book for leaders....survival is a matter of protecting the ego or identity or image.  And the ego firmly believes that if it is not right, it won't survive."  Being wrong equates to being dead." (Or fired, our losing respect or status).  When we feel threatened - with a loss of any kind - our survival instincts kick in and we fight to be right...because right feels safe.

The danger is magnified when you are below the line (closed, defensive, committed to being right and keeping your ego alive) but think that you are above the line.  The authors describe this "leadership blindness" as "rampant in the world."  Many examples exist of high-profile leaders that appear to be operating from a place of hubris and defensiveness and it rarely ends well.

The answer is to develop a depth of self awareness that while simple to describe is difficult to achieve.  This self awareness is a perquisite to accomplishing what Diana and her co-authors describe as "shifting."

"Shifting is moving from closed to open, from defensive to curious, from wanting to be right to wanting to learn, and from fighting for the survival of the individual ego to leading from a place of security and trust."  It is only from here - from above the line black line - from a position of openness and curiousity that we can truly unleash the full power of creativity, innovation and collaboration of our organization.  Ultimately, the success and longevity of our relationships - personal as well as professional - may rest on us being consistently on the right side of that thin black line.

2,000,000,and Still Counting

Just crossed the 2,000,000 mile mark in air miles traveled.  Over a 20-year career, that equates to an average of 100,000 miles logged per year.  Of course that has meant many early morning flights, too many missed dinners at home and a tremendous amount of wear and tear on my body.  But it has also meant the opportunity to meet more terrific people than I could count, to experience the cultures of places like India, Iceland, Kenya, UAE, 48 of the 50 US states, most countries in Europe, Russia, Tanzania and others.  To see the beautiful plains of sub-saharan Africa, the luscious peaks of the Himalayas, the surreal volcanic terrain, glaciers and brilliant blue lagoons of Iceland and the rugged coastline of Nova Scotia.

But even more than all of those things, it has made me a better leader - with a deeper appreciation of the value of differences, the richness of life, the indomitable nature of the human spirit and the power of human connection.  It has made me a stronger person - confident in my stamina and energy and ability to endure extended days, multiple time zone changes, long flights, and longer bouts of intestinal distress.   It has made me a better listener as you have to listen harder to reach understanding when voices and accents don't sound like yours.  It has made me more patient and resilient in facing the inevitable vagaries of travel delays, last minute itinerary changes and stymied plans.  It has taught me how to laugh at myself during the crazy things that happen when you step into taxis and Ubers 20 times a month and check into hotel rooms 30 times a year.

So while I appreciate and certainly benefit from the efficiency offered by all the tools we have at our disposal today to have video meetings on our phones, hold low cost conference calls and communicate via email, text and chat; I have no plans to get off the road.  There is simply no replacement for looking your team members in the eye and hearing from them directly their ideas, hopes and dreams; from sitting down with a prospect to understand their fears, concerns and ambitions; from meeting a customer to hear their passionate (hopefully!) and frank feedback.  Besides I have those last two states to visit - looking forward to seeing Wyoming and Alaska!

So at 2,000,000 miles, I am just getting started!